She is dying for love
But not the bona fide love
that we speak of that gives life
Because the love she is dying for
is the kind that causes strife
It is the imitation of love that is killing her,
But she doesn’t realize false love is what’s killing her
Because she believes being alone would kill her
So she would rather hold onto
disingenuous love and be lonely but with him.
She is like a whale in the sand,
lost in shallow water and ending up on dry land
But she’d rather suffocate
than admit she hates being alone and on her own,
because there is someone for everyone
and although he may not be the right one for her
he is someone right now,
which means she doesn’t have to wait,
although the weight of never really having his
affection affects her connection to those around
her who want her to be free,
even though she has chosen
bondage just to be able to say, “He’s with me.”
Actually, he is not with her.
She is with him,
and he allows her the scraps from his table,
so that she is able to publicly claim him,
even though he spits her out like phlegm
and never acknowledges that she is with him
unless they are behind closed doors
and he is behind her
claiming her girl parts of her as his own,
and she allows this as she tells herself
it is enough until he’s ready for more
even though 30 minutes later
he is ushering her out of his front door.
And we talk to her until we’re blue in the face
trying to help her get to a place
where she can let go of the madness,
so she can move through the sadness
and mourn the death of the mess
she had made with a man who was
so not tied to her fate
that he wasn’t even worth a second date,
but she refuses to allow us to save her from herself,
and we are growing wary in well doing
because at some point
we need to move on with our own lives
and leave her to her own demise.
But we cannot move forward,
because we keep looking behind us
hoping she is behind us
running towards us
away from him
and back to the she
she used to be before she got lost in him
and lost her power and began to
cower in the blows of his indifference
and his kicks of ambivalence
that have made her a shell of herself
in a hell of the wealth of insecurity
that keeps her from reaching out to we
who would embrace her and rebirth her
back to the strong-willed and strongly wonderful she
she used to be
before she surrendered to mediocrity
just to be able to drink from his poisonous cup
and sup on the bitter tears that feed her fears
that no other man, if she leaves this man,
will ever want her again.
And then she remembers her girls
After he has shattered her world.
When he no longer does the things he once did
And new love is on the skids.
We are there for her,
Letting her in
Even though she has committed the sin
Of shutting us out when he showed up
to fill her cup and she poured our libations on the ground
And didn’t want us around because she forgot
our worth while giving up her own.
And do you know why I personally
couldn’t allow her suffer alone?
It is because she is one of my own.
And if I abandon her, what do I do
after I have been foolish for a man
And I must now look to the sisterhood
to rebirth me back to the me I used to be again.