You’re single because you’re too intelligent.

For real, y’all. A dude said that to me. No joke.

I wanted to be offended, but I hate to admit I think it has some merit.

More than once I’ve met men and women in relationships—girlfriend/boyfriend or married—and thought to myself, “Why is he with her? She doesn’t seem like she challenges him intellectually.”

These are men who seem to be at the top of their game, and they have these dull but “nice” and pretty women who stand or sit beside them with nothing meaningful to add to any conversation. I’d hate to say these women are unintelligent, though. Maybe they’re just intellectually lazy; not wanting to dip into their intelligence until they think have to.

I’ve seen shows where women get dumped by their husbands and have to start a new life for themselves, by themselves with or without children, and then they discover that they really could make it on their own all along, because they’ve always had in them what they needed to be self-sufficient, but they didn’t know it because they were raised to think or they learned to think that they needed a man to define them, take care of them, breathe for them. [exhale]

Many apologies to the men who want trophy wives, but I’m not the one.

I’ve had many men in my lifetime tell me I’m beautiful, and I appreciate that and it truly makes me feel awesome, but I’m not dumbing myself down to get a man.

He’ll just be disappointed when the real me comes out, anyway, so why throw up shade in the beginning only to have the veil fall in the end?

It’s always interesting to me when I meet a man who says, “I don’t understand why you’re single. You seem to have so much going for yourself,” and we have an awesome conversation, bouncing ideas and perspectives back and forth, and then dude simply fades into the woodwork, even though he can’t understand why I’m single. Haha.

The dude who told me that I’m single because I’m too intelligent said that men don’t want women who are more intelligent than them because a more intelligent woman may make him feel inadequate in his own intelligence.

Boy, please! That has nothing to do with intelligence. That’s insecurity.

So I tell you what…

If my choice is between an insecure man who wants me to dumb myself down so his self-esteem doesn’t take a hit and being single, I’ll take single for $1,000, Alex.

I don’t believe every man suffers from this affliction, so I’ll wait patiently for the guy to surface who sees my intelligence as an asset not a liability. He’s out there. I know it.

I love my HTC EVO, but…

…actually there’s no but. 🙂

When I first saw that HTC came out with the HTC EVO Shift, I was like, “Dang it! I knew it was going to happen! I knew they were going to come out with an EVO with a physical keyboard!”

They did it, but (ah… there’s the but) they didn’t do it as good as the EVO… Sr.?, if you want my opinion.

Checking out the features of the Shift against the Sr. leads me to believe I still have the better EVO.

What you gain with the Shift:

  • physical QWERTY keyboard
  • chat-style messaging
  • Web browsing with Flash*

What you lose with the Shift:

  • the 4.3″ screen (3.6″ on the Shift)
  • dual cameras (there’s only one 5.0MP (not 8.0MP) camera on the back of the Shift)
  • 1GHz Snapdragon processor
  • HDMI slot
  • 0.1oz in weight :mrgreen: well, it’s true!

* I’m not sure why the comparison shows that the Sr. doesn’t have web browsing with Flash. I can see all Flash components just fine when I browse the web. Someone let me know if I’m missing something, please.

Turning the Shift on its side does allow the Home icons to shift to landscape, which doesn’t happen on the Sr., so that’s something else you again with the Shift.

However, I’m cool with my Home icons not shifting in order to keep my 4.3″ screen (the main reason I wanted the EVO Sr.), my dual cameras and my 1GHz Snapdragon processor. So…

I still love my HTC EVO!!!

Hosting and a domain for $9.24 for ONE YEAR! No, you’re not “dreaming.”

About a month ago, I decided to move the My Question of the Day (MyQOTD) blog to better hosting.

I was having way too many issues with down time on IX Webhosting, plus they were stifling me with their 2MB upload limit. I searched around trying to find the best alternative, because I also wanted to get my own virtual private server (VPS) for MyQOTD.

I have several sites hosted on FatCow, and this is where I set up all my clients who don’t already have hosting when they come to me for web design/development, but as much as I dig Fatcow, they don’t have the VPS option, and that was very important to me when I embarked on moving my most popular blog to new hosting. The MyQOTD blog is averaging about 500,000 hits a month now, and I need my own server to deal with the traffic.

Anyway, I was on the WebAssist site getting the activation code for one of my Dreamweaver extensions, and I noticed they were recommending Dreamhost as an excellent hosting choice.

I decided to check them out.

Right off the top, I saw that DreamHost offers VPS, so that was a good start.

They also offer a two-week trial, where they delay charging your debit/credit card so you have time to decide whether you want to stay with them or not. That was good, too.

Included, also, is the cost of one domain registration. Since I already had a domain that I wanted to host, I didn’t use that, but they did let me know that I have a “domain credit,” so that I can still get my included domain later when I decide what it will be. That was cool.

So I signed up, got my VPS, which costs me an extra $15 a month, but I want it and need it so I’m willing to pay for it, and took a look around.

Hosting heaven! (for me, anyway 😀 )

There’s no real “control panel,” like I have with IX Webhosting and FatCow, but there’s so much control over my domains, databases and files that I don’t even miss it!

The best part is that DreamHost allows 7MB uploads! That’s a big deal for me, since I sometimes upload large images and audio files to my WordPress blogs.

Why am I sharing all this with you?

For a very limited time, DreamHost is offering a year of hosting and the registration of one domain for $9.24!

That’s a 92% discount for new customers!

Happy MLK Day from DreamHost!
click to see larger view

They’re having this amazing sale in honor of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and I’m not mad at them for it! I just wish I could have gotten my first year of hosting for less than $10.

Anyway, if you’re looking for new hosting, or even your first host, I’d say DreamHost is the way to go right now with this 1-year deal.

After the one year, you’ll pay a little over $100 to renew, but you don’t have to renew. Based on my experiences with them, though, I definitely plan to renew!

You need to enter code 777 to get the discount! Don’t forget that. It’s uber important.

Once you’re set up, let me know if you need any help navigating around in the back end. I’m still learning, but I’m pretty familiar with it already.

By clicking the DreamHost link in my post, DreamHost will know that I sent you to them. They’ll even give me a few pennies from that $9.24 they collect from you, so thanks for putting a little change in my pocket.

I’m not feeling the new Twitter

When I set up Microsoft Outlook for the first time on a new computer, or I set up a new folder in an old version of Microsoft Outlook, the first thing I do is turn off that darn preview pane! I abhor that thing. I have three reasons for my dislike of the Outlook preview pane:

1. I don’t want emails opening up automatically without my say-so. If that email is not from a source I trust, they could embed malicious code into the email that activates because the preview pane is opening my message.

2. If a person requests a read receipt be sent to them upon my opening their email, even if I don’t read the email, but it opens in the preview pane, they’ll get a message back saying that I read their email. If I haven’t, and there’s information in it for which I’m going to be held responsible, I can’t explain to them that it was the preview pane and not me. They have the “proof” in their Tracking that I “read” their message.

3. There are just some emails I have no desire to see whatsoever; usually that’s some “Forward” someone has sent claiming that I have to send the email to 10 other people and back to the sender to prove I love Jesus or some nonsense like that. Really? As much as I do love Jesus, I don’t feel like I have to participate in a chain email to prove that. Go somewhere and sit down! I abhor chain emails more than “Forwards.” If I don’t want that crap in my mental Rolodex, having the preview pane display it to me when I click on the email subject defeats the purpose of allowing me to select the emails I want to read and the emails I want to “Trash” right off the bat.

Why this rant about Microsoft Outlook’s preview pane feature if this post is about the new Twitter?

Because that’s what the new Twitter reminds me of. The widened layout seems to me to have created this “preview-pane-look” that doesn’t really serve any purpose for my needs. Actually none of the features in the new Twitter move me all that much.

I was a guest on a radio show a few months ago, and I was asked if I thought this new Twitter would replace third-party applications like TweetDeck, Seesmic and HootSuite.

My answer was an emphatic, “NO!”

The folks at Twitter got it all wrong with the new features. What many of us want is the ability to see all the columns of our Twitter account at the same time. With the new Twitter, you still have to click from link to link to link to see all updates, your @mentions and your Direct Messages. And the new handling of Direct Messages just annoys the heck out of me. I mean, there are only so many you can see at all, unless I’m missing the “more” button that lets be go further and further back in that part of my Twitter stream. Someone help me out if I’m wrong on that one. Oh, yes. That part of the timeline is no longer called Direct Messages. It’s now just Messages. Why not just call it “Inbox?” OK. Maybe I’m being too picky. Forgive me.

Did you notice that we lost the “more” feature at the bottom of our @mentions of our timelines, too? There’s no “more” going back hours and hours to previous tweets. You better “Favorite” everything you think you might want to see later. When you get to the bottom of the timeline,  your only choice is “Back to top.” Uh… Thanks.

Oh, gosh! Another thing I dislike about the new Twitter is having those darn “trending topics” right in my line of sight. I detest most of the nonsense that ends up trending; just made-up tackiness that shows the silliness of so many people. Ugh. Deliver me. I ended up switching my country to Brazil, so I at least don’t have to see any of the U.S. trending topics that make me itch from annoyance.

As for Following/Followers, we gain a huge “Unfollow” button on the Followers page, but we now have to click the person’s bio or username to get the “preview pane” to show up to see if they’re following us, to send them a Direct Message, to send them an @mention, to block them or to report them. That used to be all integrated in a compact place that is way more convenient than having to click to activate another pane.


I’d really like to keep the old and simple Twitter, if I’m not going to gain the ability to see all my pages in column form. To me, that was what made Twitter web unique; it’s simplicity. When I didn’t want all the columns of TweetDeck, I would go to Twitter web just to be in my Direct Messages or just to be in my @mentions.

I mean, if I’ve got to change my Twitter background, please give me some features that make it worth my while.

What do you think?

Am I totally off-base with this post?

Have you found things you like about the new Twitter? If so, tell me. I want to know.

Since the older version of Twitter is going away soon, as the message says, I need to get a warm-fuzzy about the new Twitter.

You got anything for me, good people?

It’s Gone!

Twitter finally suspended @sepesyru; that bogus account that stole my name, avatar and bio!

I contacted Twitter on 06 January about it, and it happened sometime late today!

Thanks to @IAMKJR for letting me know.

Thanks to everyone who blocked the account and/or reported it as spam.

There is power in numbers, and I appreciate you all helping me out with this!

I love you!

Will the real Faydra Deon please stand up?

So a few nights ago, on Twitter, I did a search on my name: Faydra Deon.

I have several Twitter accounts, and I couldn’t remember the exact letters I used for a particular handle. Since I always use Faydra Deon as my actual name, I knew I could find the account that way.

Lo and behold, to my utter amazement, I found an account with the handle @sepesyru using my name, avatar and bio.

This is so not one of my accounts! I wasn’t as angry about this person impersonating me as I was about the content of the timeline. It’s nothing but affiliate links; links to try to get people to buy crap!

Anyone who’s been following me for a good, long while knows that I’m always tweeting that I don’t tweet affiliate links. I’m very adamant about this. I hate those things!

As much as I tweet and autotweet, I don’t try to trick people into buying things so I can make money off them. Maybe I should, but that’s just not in my DNA. I have a “truth in tweeting” personal policy.

You know what, though? Had this account not used my real first and middle name, I still wouldn’t know they existed. It was that they were so bold as to use all my information that led me to it.

I reported the account to Twitter, and I’m grateful to all the folks who have blocked the account and reported it as spam. It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes to get the account closed.

I reported it on 06 January 2011.

I’ll let you know when it gets closed.

AN ASIDE: I now wonder if this is why there was a stint when I had people who would tweet me about sending out affiliate links. I was so annoyed by this and I’d go on a Twitter rant about how I don’t tweet affiliate links! If they were under the impression that bogus account was mine, then that’s why they were tweeting me about it. Hm. That troubles me.

I now have a Google Alert set up to notify me if/when “Faydra Deon” is mentioned anywhere on the web.

Yes. It could be worse, but my pain is real, too.

A statement that I dislike, more times than not, is “it could be worse.”

You know what? On its face, that’s true, but it’s bad for me right now. It may not be as bad as someone else’s situation, but it’s my situation and I’m in pain over it right now.

Don’t abridge what’s going on in my body/mind/spirit to tell me “it could be worse.” You’ve just totally negated whatever it is I’m trying to deal with/work through.

Let me get through this process of dealing with what I’m dealing with, and eventually I’ll get to “it could be worse.”

Shoot. Maybe I’ll never get to “it could be worse,” but that’s my privilege. Don’t try to control how I feel.

We don’t always make it better for others by instructing them to look on the bright side. Sometimes there is no bright side. Some things are just bad, vicious, evil. Let me face it as it is, and let me decide how to feel about it in the end.

“Always trying to see the bright side in every situation may cause you to miss an eclipse.” -Faydra D. Fields (yes, you’ll see that in a volume of “30 Quotes 30 Days” 😀 )

Rent-free January!

I’ve been renting the same townhome since 2003, and my landlady has been a blessing and a half to the tenth power plus infinity!

When my ex-husband walked out on my in 2006, and my income tanked, she was uber-understanding and told me to pay my rent when I could. For about six months, I was paying little to no rent and then I finally got caught up and paid all my back rent. During that entire time, she never called or emailed or came knocking on my door asking me about the rent. She was a woman of her word and didn’t panic and assume she’d made a mistake by giving me a break. Well, maybe she panicked at home, but she didn’t let me know about it. 🙂

During all that time she wasn’t getting all or rent, she still sent maintenance people over here to deal with issues around the house. She even emailed me a few times to say, “Don’t think you can’t contact me if there are issues with the house. If you need something fixed or replaced, you need to let me know. Don’t wait until the rent is caught up. One has nothing to do with the other.” I’m paraphrasing, but this was the summary of all the emails.

Anyway, for the past few years, she’s always cut my January rent in half as a holiday gift for me being such a good tenant, she says.

This year, to my amazement and complete surprise, she cancelled the rent for January all together. I was elated! I was overjoyed! I was beyond grateful and humbled!

Thank God for my landlady. She makes it very hard for me to want to be a homeowner. She’s been so good to me throughout these past eight years.

2010 has been washed away

Anyone who knows me well knows that I’m a home-body.

It’s not unusual to find me relaxing at home on New Year’s Eve, and that’s where I was this 31 December.

I decided, however, that I wanted to do something different to ring in the New Year besides just watching a movie or surfing the web.

So at about 11:50pm on 31 December, I started the shower.

While the water was getting hot, I opened the package with the new pajamas my mother sent me for Christmas, and I opened the new pack of underwear that I’d purchased about a week before New Year’s Eve.

When the water was just the right temperature, I got in and washed from the crown of my head to the heels of my feet.

When I was done with my shower, it was 01 January 2011.

A newly cleaned me started a new year in new pajamas and new underwear.

I said my first prayer for 2011 and took my first rest of the new year.

I’m thankful for a new and clean beginning.